2017 Millennial Monologue

Just woke up, had a real long day yesterday. I wish there was some kind of app to wake me up earlier, like come on programmers why are you not working on something like that. Ugh, I sorry, I get so cranky when I’m exhausted. I binge watched like three shows on Netflix. It really builds up the appetite, gonna have to go eat my avocado toast and my avocado cereal and drink my avocado coffee. All gluten free of course. I’m so proud of myself for being gluten free, I make sure to mention it in all my social media bios. I’m also so proud of my lactose intolerance. I can’t believe I’m so #blessed to have both.

Speaking of social media, I need to hit that up and catch up on what all my friends are doing. When I checked last night Brendan bought a legit pizza slice, need to know what happened there. Gonna have to ask him about it if I get to see him in the next few months. Man we keep making plans but then everyone just gets so crazy busy with work and binge watching and posting to social media. Oh right, it’s #Throwback Thursday, I gotta put up my picture of my trophy wall, show off all my high school trophies, I can’t list them all but they range from Soccer League Participation Award to Yearbook Club Participation Award. Don’t wanna seem too elitist though, so gonna hashtag it #stayhumble.

I gotta step up my Instagram game though, show off my lit life for everyone. I need to go on vacation and get some sweet pictures to show off on Instagram but I’ve already been on three this year and I just spent my last $100 on this Pidgeotto haircut.

Ok, stop.

This fascist @pepe_420 just posted something I disagree with on Twitter. He totally just said that the new Star Trek show sucks. How can you even do that. If you don’t like something, it’s obviously not for you. Take your privileged “opinion” and put it in a dumpster fire. Don’t. Ever. Criticize. Things. You. Don’t. Like!! You don’t get to decide what you do and don’t like. I’m so shook right now. I’m gonna change my profile picture to “Support Star Trek” to show solidarity. I mean I’ve never even seen the show…or the movies…or the other shows, but I need to make sure that everyone knows where I stand on this issue.

Oh, thank Science! @kat_kween just posted a sassy 2-second GIF and totally obliterated that loser. This. Just this. I am all about this. Honestly wow I can’t. I just can’t even. I am just like what. And them I am like NOPE. Bye felicia. You just got slayed. That diss was fire. Fam.

Author: D-Man

Hey, I don't know what to say. Ok, bye.

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