Ten Alternate Timelines

Here are ten different visions of my life in alternate universes. Spoiler alert, they are all better than the miserable existence I lead now.

Toronto 1976

I am an entertainment journalist for the city’s largest paper, having just graduated university. With both cinema and rock music flourishing I have no shortage of content to write about.

Toronto 5183

I am a scavenger in the bone mines. Occasionally I attend The Opera, the retelling of the Great Fall. The ash has become lighter in recent weeks, and the voice from the citadel claims that we may see the sun soon.

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In Appreciation of Pitbull

It’s strange that in this age of constant consumption, when gigabytes of content are devoured whole every millisecond, that Pitbull hasn’t earned the dubious respect of the irony crowd. Heaven knows Mr. Worldwide’s given enough grist for the mill over the past decade, so why isn’t he being stanned?

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In Appreciation of Nicki Minaj’s “Starships”

I mentioned in my previous entry how Ava Max‘s potential chart-topper “Sweet But Psycho” bears all the hallmarks of this decade’s maximalist pop hits, found mostly between the years 2010 and 2012. While I’d like to save a full retrospective on those golden years for the end of this year, I do want to put the spotlight on some of those individual tracks. The first being Nicki Minaj‘s ebullient dance-pop monster “Starships”.

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Assorted Observations

Recently my music commentary has been incredibly repetitive, harping on the same handful of points ad nauseum. In an attempt to be less negative I have decided to focus less on music I dislike and more on music I enjoy. However I have found this to be particularly difficult this year as I don’t like anything. So I will just write a bit about some noteworthy trends.

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