Premise: When you really can’t wait a whole year for the next season.
In a medieval setting, a king stands on a wooden platform with a noble bandit who has a noose around his neck.
King Shadowheart: For treason, you shall be hung to death!
Windwalker: You may kill my body, but you will never kill my heart.
King Shadowheart: I will kill all of you! [presses down on lever slowly] I am now pressing my hand down on the lever slowly. In a few moments you will no longer be alive.
Windwalker: I will be alive.
King Shadowheart: No you will not be. [fully presses down on lever]
[Credits screen appears]: EXECUTIVE PRODUCER JOSEPH MENDELSON
Stacy: Are you for real?! You’ve got to be kidding! Seriously? That’s how it ends!? I can’t wait until next year
[Stacy throws remote at wall, then several pillows, runs to computer]
Stacy: I’m not waiting. I’m just not.
[Stacy googles the address to the production studio]
Stacy: I’m coming for you Joseph Mendelson.
[Joseph sits in his cushy office talking on the phone]
Joseph: Yeah just deliver the cocaine to the post office, I won’t be home to sign for it. [pause] So it’ll be waiting for me after 5:00 tonight? Ok, and bring proper ID. Thanks, Fed Ex.
[Stacy bursts into the office]
Stacy: WHAT HAPPENS TO WINDWALKER.
Joseph: What? Who are you?
Stacy; WINDWALKER. DOES HE DIE OR DOES HE GET AWAY. YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME.
Joseph: Oh, Throne Games. Well young lady you’re going to have to wait until next April for that one.
Stacy: No I’m not. You tell me now if he survives.
Joseph: I’m afraid I can’t just go and throw out spoilers to just anyone. It’s only 12 months away.
Stacy: I might die before then!
Joseph: Well let me know if you do and I’ll send my condolences.
Stacy: TELL ME YOU SADIST.
Joseph: How did you even get in here…
Stacy: I’ll give you anything! What do you want, money? I’ve got $12.88
Joseph: I’m worth thirty-five million dollars.
Stacy: I’ll bake you a cake.
Joseph: I’m allergic to cake.
Stacy: I’ll burn this whole place down!
Joseph: I’m afraid I’m going to have to call security.
Stacy: I’ll burn security down too!
[grabs Joseph by the collar]
Stacy: TELL ME
Joseph: No.
[Stacy picks up lamp]
Stacy: Listen here you old codger, you tell me exactly what happens next or I’m gonna-
Joseph: You’re gonna what?
Stacy: I’M GONNA-
–
