Premise: A rural couple’s life is very simple and they are very easily amused by the smallest incidents.
[Wilfrid and Barbra-Lynn are at a red light]
Wilfrid: Oh look they changed the sushi place into a spa
Barbra-Lynn: Oh well that’s interesting.
Wilfrid: Very interesting.
Barbra-Lynn: Marg said it wouldn’t last
Wilfrid: You’re gonna have to tell Marg she was right.
Barbra-Lynn: That Marg is right on the money.
Wilfrid: You’re going over to her place this afternoon, right?
Barbra-Lynn: I sure am.
Wilfrid: Make sure to tell her then. Write it down so you don’t forget.
Barbra-Lynn: I’m doing that right now. Oh, look dear, advance green! Go!
Wilfrid: Yup here I go.
[Wilfrid does a simple left turn]
Barbra-Lynn: That was a really nice left turn, dear!
Wilfrid: Oh well, I wasn’t going to say anything, but I’m glad you noticed! It WAS a really nice left turn.
Barbra-Lynn: Look at you, Mr. Vin Diesler Jr. with your fancy tricks.
Wilfrid [bashful]: Naaaw, I’m not that good, he’s a professional. You know he does all his own stunts in the movies.
Barbra-Lynn: Well maybe you should be his partner, that was very smooth and very nice.
Wilfrid: Yeah. YEAH. I feel good. I feel nice. Call Danny Boy and tell him what his old man just did.
Barbra-Lynn: Calling him right now. [pause for ringing] Danny! Hi, it’s your mom. Are you at work?
Danny: Yah. whattya want?
Barbra-Lynn: Well, your ultra-smooth driving daddy-o just did the nicest left turn and he is feeling revved up! Just wanted to tell you so you can be proud of him.
Wilfrid [yelling]: Danny boy, can you hear me?! I’m the next Vin Diesler!
Danny: Ah. yah that’s cool dad. Good job.
Barbra-Lynn: Ok well I’ll let you get back to work but remember to tell all your friends!
Danny: Yah.
[hangs up]
Wilfrid: I’m still feeling good, momma. Like a real roadster racer. Say why don’t you call Marg and tell her?
Barbra-Lynn: You’re right!
[Barbra-Lynn calls Marg, phone rings]
Marg: *coughs* HELLO?
Barbra-Lynn: Marg! I know we were going to catch up today but this can’t wait. Wilfy just did the nicest left turn on Kettle Creek Drive. It was really a sight to see.
Marg: HO HO that sounds great Barb I love ya when ya comin’ over for a beer?!
Barbra-Lynn: I’ll be over at three o clock, I’ll tell you more about it then, alright?
Marg: Alright babe! Gotta cut my toenails now doll-
Wilfrid: Marg HI it’s Wilf! It was a great turn!
Marg: HI WILF, OK I GOTTA GO NOW, BYE WILF!
[hangs up]
Wilfrid: You know what I think we should really do is call the paper and tell them about it.
Barbra-Lynn: Gotcha dear I’m calling them right now.
[phone rings]
Secretary: Hello?
Barbra-Lynn: Hi, is this the Keswick Times?
Secretary: Yes. How may I help you today?
Barbra-Lynn: I’d like a story in your paper about how my husband, the street demon, making a really nice left turn today.
Wilfrid [yelling]: I want an interview!
Secretary: That sounds exciting, but I don’t think we have any room left for stories for this week. I can put an announcement in the back of the paper for you.
Barbra-Lynn: I guess that’ll do. Ok so it should say: Congratulations to Wilfrid Gunderson on being a wizard behind the wheel. His left turns are magical!
Secretary: Ok, and how do you spell Gunderson?
Barbra-Lynn: G-U….N….oh I always get stuck at this part.
Wilfrid [yelling]: Just tell her to wing it! Who cares! This isn’t the Shakespeare times!
Barbra-Lynn: However you spell it will be fine.
Secretary: Alright. The issue will be out this Thursday.
Barbra-Lynn: Thanks, dear! Good bye!
[hangs up]
Wilfrid: Hey, do you think this guy behind us saw me make that turn?
Barbra-Lynn: He must have. Let’s ask him.
[Wilfrid slows down and stops the car. He and Barb get out and walk over to the car behind him. The man rolls down his window.]
Man: Hey, what’s the hold up!? Come on!
Wilfrid: Hey bud just wanted to ask you if you saw me do that really nice left turn back there?
Barbra-Lynn: It was really nice. My husband is really proud of it.
Man: Yeah, I guess so? I made the same turn.
Wilfrid: OH WELL I DON’T KNOW SON mine was pretty good! Don’t be sassing me!
Barbra-Lynn: Wilfy, don’t get upset.
Man: Can we just get moving?
Wilfrid: Not until you show some respect for my driving.
[siren sounds, police car pulls up. Officer gets out and comes over.]
Officer: What’s the issue, folks?
Man: These people won’t let me through because of some stupid left turn they made!
Wilfrid: Officer, it was a really nice, smooth, perfect left turn.
Barbra-Lynn: Officer it was like an angel was guiding his hand.
Officer: Well. I know firsthand how good it feels when you get that perfect angle and perfect speed, moving effortlessly into the lane. Sounds like it was a beauty of a turn, congratulations. But you are holding up traffic, so I’m going to give you a warning. And you son. [points at man in car behind]. Have some respect. [officer walks away]
[Wilfrid and Barbra-Lynn get back in their car and start driving again].
Wilfird: Oh I feel like a hooligan now.
Barbra-Lynn: Don’t worry dear it was just a warning.
Wilfrid: I’m a no-good criminal. All because of my pride. [silence] That was kinda exciting though!
Barbra-Lynn: A brush with the law! Any closer and you’d be behind bars!
Wilfrid: I’d be on that COPS show! Most wanted and everything.
Barbra-Lynn: Oh I’m going to call Danny and tell him what a rebel his poppa is!
Wilfrid: OH! CALL MARG TOO.
