My alma mater calls me every year to get money and it gets me really frustrated cuz:

A) Surprise! You already took all my money for that piece of paper I use as a place mat.

B) Why would you call ANY former student in the years after graduating?? Especially in an economic recession! If you’re going to prey on any of us, go after the finance majors.

Last time they called I had the above conversation verbatim; I’m hoping I got cut from their list.