Speaking of weddings, Facebook was super annoying the other day. I normally don’t complain about Facebook cuz you know, you wrestle with the devil, you’re gonna get wet with fire. But on Tuesday I get an EMAIL about a notification. Which is already weird, because I turned those off. But then it turns out the notification isn’t even about me, it’s just an announcement that some guy just got engaged. (This guy is kind of a huge toolbag).

I have no idea why the people at Facebook were compelled to send me a random email about a guy I barely know/like, about his engagement? Especially since I had all notifications turned off. It’s like they were trying to be super evil and force feed me lame people’s achievements.

I actually used to get a weird thrill seeing this sort of info. (No, not a dirty thrill.) But it would be kind of like “Hey, this guy can get engaged? [or] Hey, this girl can get a great job? Something’s gotta be coming down the pipe for me anytime now!” and I’d get real hopeful because I was still under my “grand narrative” spell. I thought that the universe was a balanced place. Now it’s just like “OK I GET IT EVERYONE, YOU GUYS ARE SUPER SUCCESSFUL. I’M JUST GONNA GO EAT MY RICE PUDDING.”

ok bye.