3.49: We Demand Evidence

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Young people can be so hyperbolic about their significant others. Oh, big whoop, you made Kraft dinner. That’s literally the easiest meal to make, and you think that’s a romantic gesture? Phhhshhh. Like there’s even any quantitative method to figure out who’s the “best _____friend ever”.

…But if there was it would be me. One time I personally arranged and recorded a cover of this girl’s favourite song ever and put it as a track on a mix CD for her for Valentine’s Day. And I wasn’t even dating her! And never did.