This is Ten Quick Q’s with Chet Everton Jr., where every week we ask everyone’s favourite slacker millionaire doofus a series of questions and see what his valuable insights are.
Q: Have you ever, when you are alone, secretly tried to move stuff with your mind?
A: Yeah it took a few hours but I eventually moved the sun all the way across the sky.
Q: Do you enjoy discussing politics?
A: Yes…did you know that “politics” comes from an ancient Latin word, ‘Poly-ticks’. It means lots of ticks.
Q: Which of these is likely to make you more nervous: a promising first date, or an important interview?
A: Interview. Unless my date was wearing nerve gas. That would make me nervous (she might be a terrorist.)
Q: What’s your favourite Billy Joel song?
A: Oh, that one…it’s like..uptight girl, something something… living in your bread world. Why-y-y.
Q: If you had to name your greatest motivation in life thus far, what would it be?
A: Uh…not dying.
Q: Do you believe morality is universal, or relative?
A: Well, there are lots of stars out there in the universe, so there are probably aliens out there somewhere, and they probably have morality too. And some of my relatives aren’t moral, like my uncle and his scams. Hmm.
Q: Do you space out or daydream a lot?
A: Yes…I call it my screensaver mode.
Q: If you were to die, would whoever goes through your personal belongings be shocked by what they find?
A: Only if there was a live wire in my belongings. Which there is.
Q: How frequently do you bathe or shower?
A: Every day, I’m clean as a whistle…except whistles are dirty, all covered in spit and germs, so I don’t get that saying at all.
Q: Do you Google someone before a first date?
A: No, that’s weird. I do run them through the CIA database though, just to make sure.