Year End Music Countdowns #9: 2010

The 25 Best Songs of 2010

25. Spanish Sahara- Foals

24. In the Fall- Future Islands

23. Down By The Water- The Decemberists

22. Lights- Interpol

21. Snow Crystals- Apparatjik

20. Cece’s Interlude- Drake

19. Not in Love- Crystal Castles feat. Robert Smith

18. Risk- Deftones

17. Girls and Boys in School- Neon Trees

16. USA Boys- HEALTH

15. Down- Anberlin

14. Half Light II (No Celebration)- Arcade Fire

13. The Catalyst- Linkin Park

12. I Walked- Sufjan Stevens

11. Flash Delirium- MGMT

10. Terrible Love (Alternate Version)- The National

9. You and I- Washed Out feat. Caroline Polachek

8. What You Know- Two Door Cinema Club

7. Teenage Heels- Hearts of Black Science

6. Far- Coheed and Cambria

5. Bigger Than Us- White Lies

4. Self Vs. Self- Pendulum feat. In Flames

3. Burning Stars- Mimicking Birds

2. Only the Young- Brandon Flowers

1. Na Na Na- My Chemical Romance

 

The 10 Worst songs of 2010

10. Cousins- Vampire Weekend– Sounds like the beginning of a Nickolodeon tune, swiping the verses’ vocal phrasing and melody from Elvis Costello’s “Pump it Up”, which was already done by a certain, slightly more popular band last year (They are called U2, and they’re actually lots times more popular). In any case, this song, right here, called “Cousins”, is bad. If it were your cousin, you would avoid it at every single family reunion barbecue. You’d be like “Hey…oh whoa! I want to go eat hot dogs. Talk to you later, maybe! But I’m probably gonna leave.”

9. Can’t Be Tamed- Miley Cyrus– What a bomb. I believe I remember Cyrus saying early this year that she wanted to leave the music industry to focus on her acting career, and if this song is any indication, she really wants out. It’s a joyless, hookless affair.

8. Bla Bla Bla- Ke$ha– The $ongstre$$ wa$ fir$t introduced to u$ with her hit $ingle ‘Tik Tok’, and ‘Bla Bla Bla’ came out a$ the $econd $ign of the Apocalyp$e. (OK I’LL $TOP).

7. Superfast Jellyfish- Gorillaz– This is a perfect example of an artist indulging in the worst experimental tendencies. The song is purposely meant to sound like an old school cereal commercial, and the guest rappers’ lyrics contain phrases like “King Neptune’s water breathers.” ? It’s childish . Grow up, Damon Albarn!

6.  Eenie Meenie- Justin Bieber feat. Sean Kingston– Ok, let’s start off with the fact that it uses THE pop chord progression. The cheapest one there is. Then it mashes up urban culture and kid’s nursery rhymes, which is a mind-bender. “Shawty is an eenie meenie minie moe lover”. Are 4-year olds supposed to be Shawtyin’ already?? Or is Sean Kingston some sort of overgrown tyke? Maybe he’s actually a kindergartener, but everyone thinks he’s actually older.

5. Heroes- Peter Gabriel – The man needs to put a “Danger” warning on his covers CD (entitled Scratch My Back), because man these interpretations will bore you to DEATH. Every single one has had every last bit of life sucked out of it, so there is nothing left but solemn dirges that drag on forever. If you are suffering from even the worst bout of insomnia, listen to one of these tunes and you will be out for like six days. The song listed, ‘Heroes’ is a prime offender, with Gabriel whispering half the song like he’s hiding from a drug cartel in Havana. Also completely destroyed are classics like Radiohead’s ‘Street Spirit’ and Arcade Fire’s ‘My Body is a Cage’.

4. Take Back the Fear- Hail the Villain– HEY WHO ORDERED SOME MORE NICKELBACK. HERE YOU GO.

3. Whatever Doesn’t Kill Me- Finger Eleven— if you look up generic in the dictionary.

2. Take your pick: Firework- Katy Perry, Iridescent- Linkin Park, Drunk Girls- LCD Soundsystem

1. Love the Way you Lie- Eminem feat. Rihanna– This song is so bad hahahaha. Eminem just yells the entire thing! Which doesn’t help in a song about domestic abuse. He also lays down some of the cheesiest lines I’ve ever heard him rap: “I’m Superman/with the wind at his back/she’s Lois Lane”. All I can picture is Eminem in one of those Halloween Superman costumes with the fake six pack standing in front of a fan so the cape blows. Another issue I have with this song is the intended audience. Who is this song for? Is being tied to a burning bed a current craze that I’m missing out on? I’m pretty sure that sort of thing stopped being relevant…whenever Joan of Arc happened. Finally, guys who listen to this song are whiny little peeps. The end!